I have gone on a tirade here about how writing your own patents is insidious because one gets encouraged by the demons in his head, the management and the patent lawyers to fudge things a bit and that’s exactly how some medicinal chemists start cheating. I deleted that piece because it wasn’t written well. I may come back to the subject when I calm down – though I should explain now what set me off to ramble about these things: I submitted a bunch of experimental procedures for a patent application in which I was the sole person doing the synthetic work. After the provisional patent was issued I found out that two fictitious experimental procedures were included in the patent submission – our patent lawyers found it expedient to dream them up. When I protested, the lawyers explained to me that they really didn’t have to tell me and I shouldn’t worry about such additions because they are being done by experts. From the lively debate that ensued I learned that I was using incorrect English. What I call a fake experimental procedure is actually a prophetic example. What I call bullshit is a modus operandi. I think it is reasuring to find the lawyer jokes so accurate.